Never too old to learn

So today I made the obligatory Happy Mother's Day/Happy Birthday call to my mom (her birthday falls on Mother's Day this year). I say obligatory because we don't have a great relationship. I will spare you the details of said relationship, but let's just say she is a lovely woman who drives me nuts. And I end up feeling guilty about being driven nuts by such a lovely woman who means no harm, although everything she says to me comes off as critical/judgmental. Since she didn't mean it that way, there's something wrong with me for taking it that way.

She was telling me about an article she'd read about a book called "You're Wearing That?" I thought at first it was fashion advice, but it's actually a book on mothers and daughters by Deborah Tannen of "You Just Don't Understand" fame. You can read an excerpt here.

She was amazed to learn from this article that many, many moms and daughters are in this position. Mom keeps her mouth shut because she feels her words and intentions are being misinterpreted. Daughter keeps her mouth shut because she knows criticism is coming. Paraphrasing liberally, her reaction was: "Holy crap! It's NOT just us!"

That birthday she's having today? Is her 85th. Like I said, never too old to learn.

Needless to say, we are both going to read this book.

She doesn't have a computer (maybe when I visit this fall I'll teach her how to use one), so she won't read this, but I'll say it anyway: Mom, you rock.